pictures of you

a static post[/meta]

this is for the wonderful times the past month. to friends, old and new. to going back to good old times. to memories of drunken nights, moonlit walks across the sunken garden, and early mornings at wateringhole and gerry's grill.

to best friends who've never let me down. to tequila and screwdrivers, my companions until sunrise.

for ties broken and mended, and for lovers who bitterly parted ways.

to breaking away and starting anew. to finding my feet after a bad fall. to the hope that things will be better.

five years later, i'm still hoping that we'll be together again.

posted by yui @ 3:41 PM on 11/16/2006


Thursday, May 22, 2008

Cowardly limbo

I'm in a limbo right now, not knowing if we are still together or not. It came as a result of my own exasperation - or rather, my cowardice.


I gave him the choice if he still wanted to see me. Because I was afraid to ask him if he still loved me, if he and I were still together.


I remember a similar incident a few years ago, when I gave the cold shoulder to a good friend because I was afraid of finding out if we were still the same old buddies like before. I have a very bad habit of running away, of turning back, whenever I'm afraid.


Like I am right now.


I'm not expecting him to come back, but I wish he would.

posted by yui at 4:16 PM


0 comments



Saturday, May 10, 2008

Time out

Pagod na ako sa pagkukubli ng mga sakit na nararamdaman. Sa hindi pag imik sa luhang pumapatak. Sa pagkukunwaring okey ang lahat kahit na isang buwan na kitang hindi nakikita.


Time out muna. Luluha muna ako. Kung sa bagay, kahit kailan nama'y hindi mo nakita.

posted by yui at 12:19 PM


0 comments



Monday, March 17, 2008

Post 23

I think I enjoyed my 23rd year of living more than any other year.. well, compared to recent years of course. So turning 24 was a bit "boring" for me because I didn't expect it to be a bang.


My brother didn't even bother to cook up something special. That's how boring yesterday was.


I woke up a bit early yesterday to meet M for an early morning date. We parted ways at around lunch after he gave his "unique" birthday gift: a sex video of an Angel Locsin lookalike. Hehe.


Maybe because I met M and we became a couple a day after my 23rd birthday - so I hold my 23rd year as the best year so far.


Yesterday he was in a weird mode of thinking. He was actually asking me if I plan to introduce him to my friends - something he never liked and something I didn't bother to do. I said, well, if you want to.


We're celebrating a year of being together today. We celebrated it a day early so it doesn't feel weird for me not to be with him today. But given the way things are, I'm happy. Despite.


Agh, this is just me spewing things from the top of my head. Incoherent. Pardon me.

posted by yui at 6:18 PM


0 comments



Monday, December 31, 2007

The year that was.

It's the last day of the year, and as always I am spending it.. at work. Sometimes I regret having a six day workweek that pays no respect to holidays - as I miss out so much fun with cousins and friends who have nothing else to do on holidays.


I think my Friendster shout out sums it up: The year 2007 is the year for falling in love. And not just for me, but for other friends who took a dive sometime in the middle of the year and got hitched, hooked up, or gotten laid. Hehehe.


Being pressed for time, given today's early deadline for the newspaper, let's look back at the past 12 months of the year in retrospect:


January


On the 10th day of this month, I tried out for a reporter position in the Metro section of a national daily. That is, after almost two years of being a support staff at the central desk. It was a very hellish month of trying to figure out a daily routine, of being paranoid, and of being SO FUCKING TIRED. Hehehe.


On the 16th day of this month, I met M. And so began a courtship that would culminate a couple of months later.


February


So, Valentine's Day was the month's highlight. But as we weren't a couple yet, so it wasn't as sweet as the past Valentine's Day.


Another highlight would be my transfer to Metro as a reporter on the 16th of February. But little did I know that things were just beginning. Hehehe ayan kasi, nag reporter pa.


March


The Taguig City Hall of Justice hostage incident took place on March 13, and ended some 24 hours later. I was there the whole time, smelling sweaty and really foul (as Col Miranda joked a few weeks later).


On my birthday, March 16, TJ called me up to greet me from the U.S. So did M, who was on duty that day.


The following day, things were finally settled between M and me. March 17 marked the day when I decided to be honest with him and respond to his feelings. (NAKS!)


April


Boring month, basically, but made a tad special whenever M and I would meet up.


May


Election month. But on May 4, my day as a reliever for DJ got exciting when cops surrounded the City Hall to serve a suspension order for the mayor of the Republic of Makati. Got home at around 3 a.m., feeling sore and sweaty from all the pushing and tugging.


Coverage was very much hectic because of the election period. Thank God for trainees. Hehe.


June


Peewee makes a comeback in Pasay City!


July


Muntinlupa City Hall burns down.


Edson leaves the Inquirer.


July 22: special day for M and I.


August to September


I really don't have any special recollection of this month. Erap did get convicted for plunder, only to be pardoned a month later.


October


Explosion at Glorietta 2, served as back up to DJ. We went around in circles on the first day of coverage, went after the relatives of the casualties on the second and third day.


Erap gets pardoned on October 25 or 26, can't quite remember.


Barangay elections on October 29, which I spent shuttling back and forth Muntinlupa City and Pasay City.


November


Rene Saguisag meets a terrible road accident on the dawn of November 8, a tragedy which claimed the life of his wife, Dulce. First day coverage was terrible. I only got instructions from a boss 12 hours after the Saguisags met their fate.


Spent the first half of the day covering a feature story in Taguig City, and the latter half running after the Saguisags dance instructor, the case investigator, and the inquest prosecutor - kaso pag malas ka talaga, male late ka ng 4 times dahil late ka inutusan ng amo. Oh well.


The following week, I flew to Singapore for an overnight event. First trip outside the country, woohoo!


But before the flight, I was deployed to the Batasan blast late night of November 13. It was so mindwracking to cover one blast after the other, and the night before my trip, too.


And then, November 29 marked my first actual brush with the Magdalo style of taking over a hotel. Hehe. Enough said. (Please refer to previous posts.)


December


Romeo Jalosjos gets released. I don't want to go into detail. Even if he did give me a present for Christmas for an interview. Agh.


Also the time of the year when I look back on what I've done in the past months. The realization that I may not be suited for this jobs now rings loud and clear.


But as Kate told me, I've been through so much in my first year. I barely made it through, though. Can I stick it out for another year or two?


Thank God for M, whose presence never fails to smooth my frazzled nerves.


I wonder if I can make it through 2008. But nevertheless, Happy New Year!

posted by yui at 9:56 AM


0 comments



Monday, December 03, 2007

Post Manila Peninsula

Once again, members of the media covering the November 29 stand off at the Manila Peninsula found themselves in the limelight. The undignified manner in which reporters, cameramen and news crews were detained, herded into prison buses and brought to Camp Bagong Diwa in Taguig City has sparked outrage among media practitioners – and sadly, indifference and even contempt from the public who followed the seven hour crisis by the minute.


I was among one of two print reporters covering the Magdalo hearing that morning, and I witnessed the walkout of the renegade officers until they were finally arrested by the police. Along with other reporters, we saw how Sen. Antonio Trillanes was hauled away by his waistband and up a prison bus.


And sadly, the members of the media themselves were arbitrarily detained, handcuffed, and even cursed at by police officers all too excited and pumped up for action.


The National Press Club has filed a complaint before the Commission on Human Rights this morning. Whether the CHR will side with the media that the shabby treatment is overkill or not, we will know in the coming weeks.


I was among those temporarily held by authorities outside the posh hotel after being “rescued” from gunfire and teargas. We were told that a long night awaits us in Camp Bagong Diwa. They got our names, addresses, places of work and age. I was only able to lose the cop who got my name an hour later.


I was one of the lucky ones. Around 50 other members of the media were not.


The Philippine National Police claimed they lumped together the Magdalo soldiers, their civilian supporters and the news crews covering the siege in order to weed out fake media practitioners from the real ones. Police officials said some Magdalo soldiers might pass themselves off as reporters in order to escape, thus the implementation of the dragnet on members of the media.


The need to confirm and verify the reporters' identities is very understandable. But to cuff them, shove them around and haul them off to Camp Bagong Diwa? The task could be easily done outside the hotel. Investigators only need to take the names of the reporters, cameramen and photographers – and call up their news desks or lawyers to confirm their identities. Such a tactic would have saved the police a lot of space on their prison buses, as well as fuel and time.


The PNP added that they issued a 3 p.m. deadline for the media to get out of the hotel before they assault the building. They even called up the stations and desks of the news organizations for the bosses to warn their reporters to leave.


I did not receive such a call from my desk. There was no order to pull out.


And even if there was, I would have stayed anyway to cover the assault – if only to be able to paint a vivid picture of how the Magdalo soldiers were flushed out with gunfire and tear gas.


It was an individual decision and I was ready to face the risk of getting injured or killed. I was ready for the consequence that I might be temporarily held for questioning. A reporter's job is to let the public know, and I was prepared for the risks to life and limb.


The police claim that the media endangered the operation and the lives of the police officers involved? Pray tell, how is that possible when all of the media practitioners trapped inside the hotel were unarmed? How could we possibly inflict injury or harm on the assault team, or on the Magdalo soldiers? If anything, the news crews were practically hostaged by the Magdalo soldiers.


If the police were hellbent on crushing the mini rebellion at all costs, they could have peppered everybody with gunfire – and owed the media casualties to collateral damage. How could we defend ourselves against a firefight with only our cameras, pens, notebooks and recorders?


Does the police know that at one point during the stand off, the Magdalo soldiers forbade people from leaving the building's front entrance – but allowed people to come in?


But the media, even if some of us defied the deadline for the sake of the right to know, does not deserve such a shabby treatment. Even common criminals deserve to be treated with dignity.


Let the government and media outfits sit down to talk about ground rules – but government should not think about quelling the public's right to know or tell the press on how to go about its coverage.


But what is more sad is that though the media community has raised a howl over the overkill and the possible media repression – the public, for whom we braved seven hours of tension and nearly an hour of gunfire and tear gas, has condemned us for seeking “special treatment.”


In Internet forums and radio shows, I hear feedback about how the arbitrary media arrests are much-deserved by those who defied the 3 p.m. deadline, and how media practitioners are acting like spoiled brats who broke the law and now refuse to be cuffed and dragged off to Camp Bagong Diwa.


We deserve it. We shouldn't act so high and mighty. We were told to leave, but didn't. That the police did right in detaining the reporters caught covering the Magdalo soldiers as they were getting ready to surrender as wimps.


Regardless of the fact that many representatives of news organizations were still inside the Manila Peninsula, regardless of the fact that many of us decided on our own to stay – not for fame or fortune, but out of duty –


The media did not deserve being treated so brashly by the police.


Does staying behind to cover the last few hours of the failed mutiny give the police license to shout at an ABS-CBN cameraman, “Media pala ha?! Taas ang kamay!” while tear gas is threatening to suffocate the poor fellow?


Did my and the other reporters' choice give the police any kind of license to herd the media like jailbirds and off to Camp Bagong Diwa for “questioning”?


The chaotic situation only gave them the right to ask for our names and to verify our identities, but not to abuse their badges by treating the media as suspects.


And if so, suspects of what crime?


The public has bludgeoned the media for crying foul over the abuses inflicted over some of its members last November 29. We shouldn't be crybabies, they say. We deserve everything that happened. We should just shut up, some of the Internet forums even add.


If the other members of the media do not speak up for those who have been harassed and detained, then who will? If I don't speak up for my fellow reporters and decry what happened to them, who will?


Will the public take up the fight for the media? Based on feedback, it seems they will not.


Much is expected of the media – we are expected to report the facts, to explain events, and serve as the voice of those who wish to speak and those who cannot speak. We do so without complaint, even if the issues have been around for the last decade, even if it is tiresome to repeat the same words and complaints all over again.


But when the media is the one besieged and helpless, who will fight for us? Who will defend us and what we were trying to do? Who will speak up for the public's right to know, no matter how dangerous it was to stay among volatile Magdalo soldiers and trigger happy policemen?


When journalists are killed in the provinces, only the families and the media community cry out in anger and despair. But not the neighbors, not the members of the community the journalist has chosen to belong to and serve. Apathy is more fearsome than we think.


It is sad that the public – for whom newscasts are produced, radio reports are aired, and news stories are published in print – do not seem to understand at the very least that what we do for a living is not just a job. It is a duty, a calling to foster freedom of speech, of expression and of democracy.


Three years ago as a fresh graduate, I was told that journalism is a thankless job. It is only now that I realize that is thankless – but as my duty, even with the risk and danger, I will continue to bear witness to the history unfolding in front of me.

posted by yui at 4:18 PM


0 comments



Saturday, December 01, 2007

Post November 29

The first thought that came to mind was: “The Magdalo soldiers know how to pick out classy hotels for their stronghold.”


We had just arrived at the Manila Peninsula after marching for 30 minutes in the rain on Thursday morning. In our rush to get in, members of the media accidentally broke a glass door. No one paid attention to the shards littering the way.


Earlier, at around 10:42 a.m., Lt James Layug made that fateful walk toward the witness stand to grab Gen Danilo Lim's arm and usher him out of the courtroom. Judge Oscar Pimentel of the Makati City Regional Trial Court Branch 148 was then hearing Lim's testimony on how the negotiations for the Oakwood 2003 mutiny went.


“Walang gagalaw!” Layug shouted, as if announcing a bank robbery. Even the members of the security detail were frozen to their posts.


Either out of fear or sympathy for the renegades, only the security escorts could answer that question.


It took less than 10 seconds for Layug and Lim to bolt out of the room, leaving everybody stunned. It was only after Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV followed Lim that the reporters scrambled outside.


Near the elevator, Trillanes went around in circles – literally – with the media doggedly following him. Finally he stopped to make a brief statement:


“The time for change is now.. We are withdrawing support from the government and asking Pres. Arroyo to step down. We are calling on our fellow people to join us here in Makati.”


I felt an itch in my fist – and an urge to take Trillanes by his collar and shake him: “So you want to have another Oakwood mutiny fail again?” But the anger subsided and was replaced by the adrenaline rush to squeeze myself in the elevator where the soldiers were making their escape.


I already had one foot inside the elevator when one of the men kicked me on my right thigh, forcing me out of the elevator. I wasn't to be outdone and pushed my way back in, to be shouted at by Layug: “Pag tayo nagkandaleche leche at nahuli tayo, ikaw ang mananagot!”


The elevator closed, leaving me and the other reporters stunned. We then bolted towards the stairway and ran all the way from the 14th floor to the ground floor of the Makati City Hall.


Marching in the rain along J.P. Rizal Ave and Makati Ave., I immediately called the regular Makati reporter, DJ Yap, who was on leave that day. What a day for a reliever like me to be caught up in another Magdalo gimmick, I thought.


We reached the Manila Peninsula after some 30 minutes of walking and watching the soldiers exhort bystanders to join their march. Reporters didn't bother to use umbrellas against the rain, running at a frantic pace to catch up with the day's lead characters: Trillanes and Lim.


But if there was one man who made things happen that fateful day, it was Layug who took charge and seized Lim, Layug who brushed off reporters as they were squeezing to get into the elevator, Layug who assured the media that they would get their story after things calmed down at the hotel.


DJ and I caught up with each other at the hotel. He kept an eye on the Magdalo soldiers holed up at the Rizal function room, while I began composing my story in my mind early that afternoon. I had left my laptop at the press office but a copyboy was kind enough to bring it to me at the hotel.


The tension on the hotel's second floor gradually abated at around 2 p.m., as we were unmindful of the plan to storm the building. I heard about a 3 p.m. deadline for reporters to leave the building, but I didn't budge. The cops couldn't possibly herd all of us out, I thought.


Until a few minutes past 4 p.m., I noticed that the front entrance was already locked and that my fellow reporters trapped inside the hotel were already tearing up table cloths and dampening them with tap water.


“Para saan?” I asked Lito Laparan, a friend and a reporter for DZBB.


“Tear gas,” he replied, adding: “In five minutes papasukin na daw.”


I got my own hanky and dampened it with water from the nearby bar. Rather than being nervous, I became more excited, especially with the first few warning shots being fired.


At this point, DJ and I, along with Thea Alberto of Inquirer.net, posed for some photos at the second floor lobby. I noticed that the other print reporters covering the Makati City beat were also having fun with their own camera phones, snapping pictures for a souvenir.


Considering the fact that all of us had not had a decent lunch (and breakfast, in my case), we were in pretty high spirits despite the seriousness of the situation.


Little did we know that a TV station was filming our antics, and that our Kodakan was being aired live on national TV.


As the shots got louder, I left DJ and Gil Cabacungan at the left wing area of the hotel where Trillanes was holed up. I decided to hide with other photographers at the right wing. There was an open balcony where we could hide and yet see the first floor lobby as the assault team peppered the entrance with gunfire.


I had a nice view of the lobby as tear gas permeated it, but the sting forced us to retreat to the balcony. A few minutes past 5 p.m., I saw a carpet at the left wing as it glowed red and yellow. It had caught fire.


Moments later, the tank barged into the hotel, painting an eerie picture as it stood beside the giant Christmas tree. Several policemen in assault gear crept out of it, inching their way towards the left wing where Trillanes and most of the media practitioners were located.


I was momentarily worried for DJ and Gil and the other Makati reporters, for I knew that they were the target and not the group of cameramen I was with. We were around ten or so, including ABS-CBN reporter Pinky Webb.


However, a member of the assault team apparently saw our silhouettes through the glass, as we saw them waving to us. Jess Garcia of DZRH decided to motion to the cops that we wanted to get out of the hotel, and so he waved back.


Cops with gas masks and guns made our way to us, shouting “Labas na kayo!” The cameramen held up their equipment to show proof that we were members of the media and not the Magdalo.


We were then led down the staircase, crouched down, cloths pressed to our noses to fight the sting of the tear gas. I looked up at the Christmas tree and the tank, but was unable to stop to take a photo as a cop pushed me to get going.


Outside the hotel, we were held by investigators who got our names, addresses, and occupation. National Capital Region Police Office director Geary Barias told us: “O, mga media, dito muna kayo. Hold muna kayo tapos dadalhin kayo sa Bicutan para sa questioning.”


He mingled for a while and then went off to get some bottles of water, one of which he handed to me. I told him, “Sir, tinatawagan kita kanina sa cellphone pero di ka nasagot. May nag mass up ba?”


To which he replied, “Wala. Wala naman sumoporta.” Then he reminded me to stay put as a vehicle is being readied to bring us to Bicutan.


I consulted with an Inquirer editor who told me that I shouldn't go to Bicutan and file my story first. The editor even advised me to make a run for it and that the cops wouldn't shoot me. But with the hundreds of armed policemen securing the place, it took me more than an hour to lose the cop who took note of my name.


I just milled around as if I were in search of someone, and called up photographer Rem Zamora who berated me for being so hardheaded to have stayed behind. “Andito ako sa labas, pasimplehan mo na lang,” he told me.


At around 7 p.m., I was walking through the police cordon. DJ and Gil were already being held by the police at that time.


What a day for a reliever like me, I thought. And so I trudged in the rain again.

posted by yui at 3:33 PM


2 comments



Sunday, October 21, 2007

Post mortem

I'm temporarily ignoring this blog until the whole Glorietta 2 and barangay elections is over. Gah, it's Sunday morning and I'm off to work because my editors told us to look for the families of the ten victims of the bombing.


Agh, oh day off my day off.. Where art thou?


* * * *


The NCRPO says a member of the RSM is claiming responsibility for the attack.


Two days into immersing myself at the blast site, everything is still, too surreal to be true.

Labels:

posted by yui at 7:40 AM


0 comments